How To Build Self Confidence By Eliminating The Five Bad Habits Of Low Self Esteem

Self esteem doesn’t emerge, fully grown, at birth.  It develops over time as we notice negative messages and allow them to influence our behavior.  Eventually, bad habits result, which limit the ability to recognize one’s value and self worth.  Finding a healthier level of self esteem requires confrontation of these negative habits and a conscious effort to replace them with positive messages and rituals.

Some of the negative habits are easy to spot.  If one consistently puts himself or herself down, for instance, it might be easy to make the connection between that behavior and his or her low self esteem.  Other bad habits are less obvious.  Let’s look at five such habits that contribute to low self esteem.

Putting oneself last.  Society commends those who are not self-centered and who are willing to put the needs of others above their own.  That kind of self-sacrifice can be wonderful, but when carried to an extreme it often convinces one that he or she really doesn’t matter as much as do others.  It can also lead to resentment.  Kindness and generosity are truly spectacular traits, but when carried to an extreme they can undermine self esteem.  If you are constantly tending to the needs of others and are overlooking your own needs, find a way to give yourself the time and attention you deserve.

Apologizing excessively.  One should apologize when his or her acts cause difficulties for others or unforeseen consequences.  However, when one begins to apologize for those things over which he or she has no real control, it can exact a heavy psychological toll.  Apologizing for others or for the general state of the world is akin to taking personal responsibility for negative events in which one did not play a role.  It creates a sensation of guilt and can crush one’s self esteem.  If you find yourself apologizing for things in which you didn’t have a hand, consider new ways of expressing your sympathy or empathy without taking on a sense of personal responsibility.

Ignoring nuance.  Those with low self esteem often see the world in very black and white terms.  There is little, if any gray.  An action was either a success or a failure.  Either one did things the right way or the wrong way.  The world rarely works perfectly, and those who have a tendency to divide the world into precise categories find themselves decrying almost all of their actions as inadequate because they don’t meet the standards of perfection.  Being open to more possibilities and permutations can create the kind of open mindset in which self esteem can thrive.  If you find yourself convinced that everything is either “A” or “B,” take some time to explore alternative perspectives and look at situations from new angles.

Constant comparisons.  People with low self esteem often fall into a trap in which they constantly compare themselves to others.  The idea of measuring oneself against a reference point may not seem problematic, but it can be.  When the comparison process takes center stage, every activity is reduced to measurement.  Instead of experiencing life’s joys on their own terms, those who constantly compare themselves to others spend their time wondering if they are “good enough.”  In time, that habit can severely restrict the development of healthy self esteem levels.  If you find yourself worrying about how you “stack up” in almost any situation, think about different ways of approaching experiences.

Sad stories.  Those with low self esteem often find themselves recounting horror stories to others.  Instead of sharing positive news or information, they communicate tales of strife, difficulty and problems.  Not only does this have a deleterious impact on self esteem by focusing the mind of the negative, it also makes others less likely to seek out meaningful communication with the storyteller.  Those reduced levels of interpersonal interaction further contribute to low self esteem.  If you find yourself always sharing woeful tales, reconsider your communicative choices.

The bad habits that encourage low self esteem come in a variety of forms.  Some are obvious; others may not be easy to spot.  Discovering those negative habits and confronting them, however, is integral to developing a higher level of self esteem.  If you are dealing with self esteem issues, take care to notice how some of your seemingly innocuous behaviors may be contributing to your negative worldview.  Isolate them and consciously confront them, replacing them with more psychologically healthy alternatives.

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How To Build Self Confidence By Developing Self Esteem

Developing self esteem is a powerful way of increasing the overall quality of one’s life. That is, of course, because self esteem is so very critical to our ability to enjoy anything and because it equips us with the power to receive affection and love while simultaneously persuading us that we can handle the challenges our lives will inevitably present. However, the power of high self esteem is actually even greater than we might realize. That’s because the process of self esteem development places us in a loop of positive growth that provides infinite potential!

Let’s take a look at the self esteem loop and how it can help one to reach even the loftiest aspirations:

Self esteem stems from experiencing success. That success may be realized by reversing negative habits and thinking that prevent the person with low esteem from “noticing” his or her successes. It may come from redefining success and changing standards to comport with reality. Regardless of how success is obtained, it leads to self esteem. One recognizes accomplishment and understands that he or she can excel.

That boost in self esteem then empowers additional successes. Those victories, in turn, boost self esteem even more. It is a loop, a circular process, in which a positive outcome inspires positive thinking which then produces outcomes that are even more positive! The sky, as they say, is the limit. As self esteem grows, one is far better equipped to reach his or her maximum potential.

This upward spiral is at the heart of why developing a positive sense of self is so incredibly important. Developing a good self image, self-confidence, and other elements inherent in healthy levels of self esteem isn’t just important in the moment. Yes, it will help one to cope with an immediate challenge. Yes, it will make life more enjoyable and meaningful in the moment. However, it goes so far beyond that, offering unimaginable long-term opportunities for self-fulfillment and achievement.

Unfortunately, negative thinking and the bad habits that limit the development of self esteem have a similar strength–in the opposite direction. Negative thinking results in a reduced likelihood of perceived success. As the perceived failure count mounts, attitude suffers even more. A mirror image of the powerful self esteem loop is created, only this one spirals downward instead of upwards. That is why it is so essential to erase the negative habits that limit our ability to experience success and higher self esteem.

The decision to develop a higher level of self esteem is not a matter of simply choosing upward movement over downward movement. Both cycles can operate, on some level, simultaneously. However, they don’t operate in ignorance of one another. As one force grows in power, the other tends to naturally reduce its force.

If you have bad habits toward negative thinking that limit your ability to develop a higher level of self esteem, it is imperative to address them immediately. Confront the patterns that limit you and work to replace those negative tendencies with positive actions.

If you do, you will not need to slide downward in terms of self-perception and happiness. Instead, you can enter into the positive loop of heightened self esteem, capturing the advantages of limitless potential and joy it provides.

Take the time to understand what has been limiting your self esteem. Make a conscious and consistent effort to confront those limiting factors and to replace bad habits with positive ones. Use pro-self esteem actions to combat the traditional negative rituals in which you engage. Search out other means by which you can improve your view of self.

Low self esteem doesn’t emerge overnight, and it can’t be defeated that quickly, either. However, an informed and concerted effort to defeat bad habits and to hop into the positive growth loop of heightened self esteem is possible. Once you make that move, you will be amazed at how different your life can be!

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How To Build Self Confidence With The Dynamic Nature of Motivations

Motivations are what keep us going when things are the most difficult.  They are the guiding lights that direct us along a path to personal fulfillment.  They are at the very core of who we are, and once we understand our motivations we are well-positioned to reach even the loftiest goals.

Those who are seeking a way to live the most fulfilling possible life often begin their search for answers by taking an inventory of their own motivations.  They understand that by uncovering what persuades them to take action and what truly gets them excited that they can better devise goals and a plan by which to meet those objectives.  Understanding motivations is a centerpiece of successful self-improvement.

Motivations, however, are not static entities.  They don’t remain unchanged.  They vary and adjust with the passage of time and those changes can have tremendous importance to us as we strive to live the best lives we possibly can.

Many people do assess their motivations when they embark on a self-improvement journey.  They use the information they glean to establish a framework in which to act, to establish goals, and to direct their thinking.  Pleased to have created a vision based on what really matters the most to them, they begin their journey without a thought of looking back again.

However, as they continue to progress and to live, they constantly expose themselves to new experiences.  They gain new information.  They develop new insights.  Forces beyond their control may influence the world around them or illuminate ideas and circumstances about which they had never really thought a great deal.  A personal experience may provide new information about what really matters the most to them.

All of those events can impact their motivations.  Committed to their plan, however, they advance without revisiting their motivations.  That undermines the power and the meaning of their quest.  It leaves them working from a plan to which they no longer have a real relationship.

Motivations are not handed to us at birth in a neat little package.  They develop over time and are based upon our backgrounds, educations, and personal experiences.  They grow and change.  We need to grow and change with them.

What if you had decided to develop a “life plan” at the age of twelve?  What would you have listed as the most important motivators in your life at that time?  Are you willing to concede that at least a few of those principles that seemed so important during adolescence have waned in significance with the passage of time?

As adults, our perspectives may not change as rapidly on some matters of core importance.  However, the accumulation of experience can radically alter a previously-held belief and that can shift our motivations considerably.

When our motivations change, our goals need to change with them.  Our plans need to adjust in order to accommodate our newfound vision and wisdom.  Continuing with the status quo plan in the face of new knowledge is anything but a means to self-improvement.  Instead, it would represent a denial of self.

As you make your plans for personal growth and self-improvement, you will undoubtedly put your personal motivations in the spotlight, and justifiably so.  As time passes, make sure you feature them in your thoughts again.  Regularly.  As you grow and learn, they will change.  You need to make sure you alter your objectives and plans to adjust for any shifts in your motivations.

The same reason motivations matters when one begins looking for fulfillment is the same reason they must be considered again and again throughout one’s life.  Motivations are what propel one toward their maximum potential and any strategy that doesn’t have one’s motivations at the forefront is destined to fail.  Plugging along with “outdated” motivations is as useless and unworkable as ignoring what matters the most to one from the very beginning.

Motivations are like people.  They change.  That change should be noted, accepted, embraced and made a part of one’s overall plan for living.

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